Being a girl in our Society

I don’t know why I am writing this, but deep inside, I have always wanted to. Some of you might think I am a feminist, but let me clarify: I am not a feminist, but I do believe in equality. Now, let’s get to the main topic.

Is she married?

People always say that girls of this generation are so vain. But let me tell you how our society defines a "perfect" girl. She must be pretty. Her hair must look good. Her dressing should be proper. Her weight should be around 40 kg. And finally, she must be married by the age of 22. A degree, even with distinction, means nothing.

She is seen as being here only for marriage. Being a single, 22-year-old girl in Pakistan feels like being a patient whose only cure is marriage. Everyone keeps asking, "When are you getting married?" The truth is, when we see a young woman in Pakistan, the first question that comes to mind is, "Is she married?" If the answer is no, the next thought is, "When will she get married?" After some time, people start asking, "Why isn't she married yet?" Our society doesn’t just assume that marriage is part of every woman’s future; it insists on it.

Even if parents are supportive, like mine, relatives and even people outside the family still ask them, "Ap ne shadi kab karni hai beti ki? Umar nikal jayegi." When will you get your daughter married? She's getting older.) Society refuses to see a girl as an independent individual until she is married. No matter what she achieves, no matter what she writes or accomplishes, her friends, her family, and even she, on some level, are expected to wait for that matrimonial ceremony where she will be dressed up and adorned in heavy jewelry.

I’m not saying marriage isn’t important, of course, it is. But please, let her live first. Let her achieve what she wants to achieve.

You are a subject for staring

You are an open subject for staring. If you think that covering yourself will help you escape this, believe me, you’re wrong. Thousands of girls cover their faces, yet it makes no difference. A man who wants to stare will stare, no matter what.

Can’t talk to the opposite gender

You can’t talk to the opposite gender in public because there will always be people ready to assume you're in love with that person. They’ll surely go to your parents and say, "Bhai sahib, ap ne apni beti ko aise parhaya, shadi kar dein, es ki ab bus."

I’ll end it here, though there’s much more I could say. The women’s revolution has already begun. Just look around, and you’ll see women everywhere. But as a society, let’s not criticize them. Let them live. Let them pursue what they want to. Offer them support. If there’s a woman in a male-dominated field, make her feel comfortable. Never think she can’t do it just because she’s a woman or that she doesn’t belong. She belongs wherever she wants to be.

Thank You.

A.Saher